5 Ways to Connect with Non-believers

As Christians we are called to make disciples of all nations which requires us to form connections with non-believers. While we are all ultimately working towards the same purpose of glorifying God and serving His will, having confidence in our ability to communicate can vary from believer to believer. Reaching out to those who do not share our view of the world and how we are supposed to live in it can certainly be intimidating. However, it should go without saying that non-believers are just people like us at the end of the day, and God has equipped us with the tools necessary to form relationships and understandings with them. Knowing exactly what to do with those communicative tools can be challenging at times, so here are 5 ways to ensure that your connection with a non-believer starts out ideally.

1. Do not approach them with any preformed opinions

In the case that you primarily surround yourself with Christians, it can be easy to feel more hesitant and anxious about engaging with a non-believer. You may start to question if your upbringing or time spent with God and in His word has prepared you to step outside of your comfort zone and interact with somebody of a different worldview. You might feel as though you will be challenged and put to the test on what you believe, and while that is a genuine possibility, you are likely not going to be met with blatant hostility unless that is what you are seeking out. Just because a person does not have Christian views does not mean that they are eager to attack those who do and are unable to be open to them. To help make your connection with a non-believer sincere from the beginning, do not assign any premature labels or make assumptions as to how they are going to come across, as that will only add tension and make communication harder.

2. Show interest in their own lives and what they hold dear

An essential part of efficiently communicating with anybody is being a good listener, and this is no different when engaging a non-believer. If you are fixated on the individual simply as a person who is unsaved, then you will make it harder for yourself to see and understand their unique aspects that help form a human connection. Ask them questions or give them an opportunity to present you with details of their own personal lives so that you may gain an understanding and possible appreciation for what matters to them and has shaped them into the person that they are today. In a way, showing interest in what they care about will show that you care about them.

3. Find things that you have in common to bond over

While listening to someone and giving meaningful responses to what they are saying is certainly going to help establish a connection, it is more likely to be maintained if there is a common link between both parties that they can discuss together. While you might be worried about struggling to relate to a non-believer because of their lack of faith, think of your own hobbies that you partake in for fun, and see if there are any mutual interests that the two of you can spend time talking about and possibly even enjoy together. Be open to what they might suggest if you initially fail to find a common interest and if their suggestion does not involve anything potentially sinful. Through that shared interest which can strengthen your bond, deeper and more personal conversations can follow. Fashion is always a trending interest, so if you would like to display your appreciation for it while also showcasing aspects of your faith, then check out the Christian clothing and faith-based apparel that is offered here at ThankGod.com. 

4. Genuinely listen to their experiences rather than correcting them

If you are communicating with a non-believer and the topic of your faith does come up, there is a possibility that they might have personal grievances about Christianity and elements of it. These personal issues could stem from a number of things such as church hurt or general mistreatment by those who claim to be followers of Christ. Regardless of what their reasoning is, it is important that before you come to the defense of Christianity and point out the inconsistencies between how they were treated and how the Bible actually tells us to treat one another, you must understand and acknowledge the reality of their painful experience. If you only try to convince them that they did not experience true Christian behavior because of how they were affected, they will take that as an invalidation of their pain and personal scars as if it should not be taken seriously. Show sympathy towards what they have gone through and how it has left them feeling, then share the love of Christ to help them work through and be healed of that pain when it is appropriate.

5. Treat them as a person, not a project

Coinciding with the themes of openness from the prior suggestions, it is integral that you approach non-believers with a sincere desire to know and love them as people rather than seeing them as a box to be checked. While bringing people to the Lord should be a main priority, it is a process that takes time and is unlikely to proceed smoothly if you are not embracing the entirety of the person you are engaging. If you form a connection with a non-believer, do not treat them like a project by only monitoring and acknowledging their spiritual progress and not their mental health and general wellness. If you do that, they will likely end the relationship due to feeling as though they are not being taken seriously as an individual. Colossians 4:5-6 tell us, “Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” These verses make it clear that we should be productive in our conversations with non-believers, but they should also include kindness and discernment so that love shines through.

Proceeding with Communication

It can be easy to overthink and be afraid of potential interactions with non-believers, but God has called us to prepare ourselves for engagement with the world so that we may guide others out of it and to Him. Hopefully these examples have provided clarity on how you can form these connections in natural ways that ultimately work to serve the Lord’s will and share the hope that only He provides.